Bette Davis once said “old age ain’t no place for sissies.” As someone who is continuing to age, I understand this pretty well. But it’s better than the alternative. Being sick is much the same. Damn hard work.
No, this isn’t my way of telling you that I’m going to die. I have a winter respiratory ailment that’s causing some issues I choose not to describe. But it’s not serious. And I’ll get over it shortly.
But it makes me think of others who are really sick and I will tell them that I applaud them for their strength. And I pray for their healing.
What I’ve found with my little thing is that I’m always tired and have difficulty breathing. Can’t sleep because of the coughing. Chills. Fever. Just generally feel like crap. And can’t get anything done.
I did go to the doctor finally. Yes, you’re sick. Now take all this medicine and you’ll be better. I waited to go until I couldn’t stand the coughing anymore. I don’t like to give in to what I consider to be minor discomforts. But I just knew I had the flu in spite of the inoculation I got in October. Or tuberculosis. I have a good imagination and can be a hypochondriac. That’s why I hate being sick.
What’s worse though is that I have a long list of things I either really need to do. Or just want to do but I can’t move off go right now to do anything because of this thing. But I’m trying.
I worked on rewiring a pole lamp earlier this morning. Big hands into a tight space with several hand tools to put in a new switch. Exhausting. And I went outside to throw the ball with the dog. But she wouldn’t give it to me. Just stared at me with the tattered tennis ball firmly gripped in her mouth. About all I really feel like doing is nothing. And it’s very frustrating because I feel so useless. And there is so much to do.
I know I’ll get back to normal in the next couple of days. Keep in mind that my normal isn’t exactly vim and vigor. But it’s my normal and it mostly works for me.
Normal changes over time. And we all have our own evolving idea of what “usual” might be. It not all fun and games, and not easy for anyone. And the deeper you go, the harder it is. So, to all of us I say: live it all as best you can. It will be enough.
That’s part of my story. What’s yours?